Mind it! Using terms ‘Aunty’ and ‘Uncle’ indiscriminately can be Precarious

Did u know that simple and frequently used terms like ‘Aunty’ and ‘Uncle’ at times can cause undesirable problems? I had no idea about the hidden perils of these terms until I encountered certain experiences.

One day I went to market to get some vegetables. Well, this type of shopping is not my cup of tea. Selecting right type of veggies, considering all the quality parameters including size, colour, freshness etc, and then not to forget the toughest part, haggling with the vendor, all these need set of skills for which I find myself under qualified.

However, it was the need of the hour and hence, I had no option but to plunge myself into the undesirable venture. After a little scrutiny, I finally zeroed in on a particular stall that was least crowded. A plump lady in sari looked happy to have me in her stall and began convincing me that she had the freshest veggies. Just as I was trying to select some veggies, a man around his thirties came and stood next to me. He carried a big shopping bag, probably for carrying veggies. The lady turned her attention to him. Ignoring me, her first client, she was now totally focused on his interests; may be because he looked more seasoned shopper who could fetch her better sale profits.

After a while, just as I was done with my purchase and was about to pay, a sudden and unexpected brawl broke between the man and the vendor. I just couldn’t comprehend what went wrong all of a sudden. People started gazing at our stall, at the two adults arguing continuously. A lady from the next store finding me so clueless at the ongoing battle gave an impish smile.

It took me few minutes to recollect as to what had actually transpired between the two. The man had bought a bag full of vegetables and was now bargaining for the same. The bargaining took a murky turn when the man called the vendor ‘Aunty Ji’. The word seemed to have shot her temper high. Now she refused to sell him any veggies. She looked highly offended by him. In a high pitch, she assertively told him, “I’m not your aunty… look at yourself, almost nearing middle age and calling me aunty”, she continued angrily,” Go and find some other vendor I’m not selling any veggies.

The man looked irritated; he emptied his bag of vegetables and left the place murmuring something. Sensing the looming tension in the air I dared not to call her aunty as I was about to do. Neither did I haggle with her. I quietly gave the lady the amount she asked for and left the place.

This was the first time I came to know the power of word ‘Aunty’ in creating unwanted upheaval. Once I witnessed it at my home too.

One day one of my old maids who had served us for years came to visit us. While conversing with my mother she paused and called out to our cook (who was in the kitchen, making chapattis) for a glass of water. After a while the cook came out of the kitchen with the rolling pin in one hand and a glass of water in another. She looked little upset. She thrusted the glass in the maid’s hand and said that she should be more watchful of her words.

Actually, the maid had addressed the cook as ‘Aunty’, which had definitely not gone well with her. She further went on to clarify that her children were younger than the maids so it didn’t suit her to call her aunty. While all this discussion went on and the angry cook vented out her anger forgetting about the chapatti she had left on the pan, my mother whispered into my ears, “Look how she (the cook) is getting angry on being called ‘aunty’ and she doesn’t mind calling me aunty”…

Gauging the seriousness of the situation I interfered. I wanted to lighten the moment while ensuring every hurt soul felt better, so I told them about the incident of the vendor and the man and how the use of ‘Aunty’ word had made the situation worse. I made sure to add lot more spices to the story thus, making it more hilarious. The trick worked, everybody smiled and my triumphant soul heaved a sigh of relief.

It’s not women alone who get perturbed on being called as Aunty by a grown up person but men too equally get upset.

Once I was travelling in a train with my cousin. On the side birth there stood a man. For more than 20 minutes he had been searching something in his suitcase, oblivious of the fact that he was blocking the passage. My cousin wanted to go to the washroom but this man was so preoccupied in his search that he hardly paid attention to my cousin’s request to give way. At last my cousin said in a little louder tone, “Uncle ji, could you please give me way I need to go”.  Hearing his words the man immediately stood up as if he received an electric shock. His facial expressions looked dangerous. He howled back at my cousin, “How dare you call me uncle? Don’t you see yourself in the mirror? Are you some kid calling me uncle”?

My cousin listened to him in utter bewilderment. He was unprepared for this reaction. However, after a momentary silence he pacified the man by apologizing. Thankfully, the man calmed down on hearing sorry and went back to ransacking process.

I still wonder what is so disturbing about being addressed as ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’ by a stranger. Even if somebody inappropriate of his age addresses you as Uncle or Aunty it hardly matters. One will continue to remain his age irrespective of what others call.

However, after witnessing the above experiences I prefer to observe caution while using the terms ‘Aunty’ and ‘Uncle’ in public and keep myself on the safer side.