Pre marital Sex- A Freedom of Choice or Just a Liability

Any practice or institution can be considered worthwhile only if its benefits surpass its detriments but if it is vice versa then the very practice of great ingenuity comes to question.

 Here the topic asks to speak in favour or against premarital sex.

Firstly, what is premarital sex? In simple terms it refers to physical intimacy or sexual activities between two individuals before marriage.

While premarital sex might not be an issue in several so called ‘modern states’ of the world, it is a taboo in India.

However, the scenario here too is undergoing a change. People from educated and elite class considered to be modern and more rationale are now open to all types of ideas that were once considered taboo. They favour pre marital sex by saying that every mature individual has the right to take decisions of his life and hence pre-marital sex must be considered as a freedom of choice and should be granted to everyone. Condemning such acts are unjustified and those doing it are orthodox and narrow-minded.

Well, I too belong to this category..old fashioned with conservative believes and I have good reasons to support my point. I strongly disapprove of pre-marital sex. I don’t want to sound preachy but I find this kind of arrangement unfavourable.

Why someone decides to go for premarital sex? Just for experience or to understand the other partner better before any commitment.

I feel people who are scared of commitment are the ones who take up the stand of pre-marital sex. Such people may have their own good reasons for insecurities and hence to clarify that they might like to test any relation before committing to it. In few cases this test experience might prove to be successful, it could be possible that you might be able to judge the person better once you start live-in relation but what if it fails?

If after spending a year you find the compatibility factor is missing then all you can do is move out of it. But is it really that simple? Well, the advocates of pre marital sex may say that it is at least easier than in marriage.

True if caught up in wrong marriage, bad experience can be painful but it is no better in live-in relation, if you are truly attached to the person then it does matter. Quitting can cause emotional trauma that is painful and can scar your life for long.

While some people may forget and get settled after some bad experiences, there are many who fail to cope up. They develop low self-esteem, insecurities and also sometimes go into depression.

There is another category of people who are very comfortable creating new bonds and then quitting them if dissatisfied. They learn to develop bonds easily. This kind of attitude at times becomes a cause of concern later, once in long term commitment of marriage.

Whenever there is any dispute they can think of severing off relation and developing new bond somewhere else because that’s easy for them.

In today’s instant fast world where lives might have become easier and more convenient, relations have become lot more complicated. No one has patience and willingness to give required hearing to the others situation. Everyone just wants to jump to conclusions. Hence, people look for easy ways… no commitment, no responsibility just living in with the aim to leave when necessary.

Sex is not just an important part of marriage but to me it is also very sacred. Getting sexually active with somebody while experimenting a relation and then quitting if found unsuitable only to move on with some one else is somehow not pleasing.

Countries where premarital affairs are prevalent, the issues of fatal diseases are very common and on rise. When people go for sex with more partners without taking required precaution then there are good chances of contracting some incurable diseases. Several cases of STD’s( sexually transmitted diseases) have been reported resulting from pre marital sex.

Moreover, the premarital sex also leads to several other unwanted issues like abortions, children born out-of-wedlock and single parenting.

When you have sex with someone you tend to develop a bond with that person, provided you are not bereft of human emotions. Now there are always chances that this someone from past with whom you once shared intimacy may come and disturb your present. If you are caught up with the wrong type of a crazy person then you must be prepared to handle unwanted hassles.

No matter how modern our society becomes and how people speak in favour of premarital sex the truth is that everyone prefers a virgin partner. Virginity is something that appeals to every man.

A person lacking virginity is more likely to face problems in marital life. So, to avoid this either the person must lie to his/her partner about the past or simply be prepared to complicate relations.

A lady once candidly disclosed her husband about her pre marital sex. He initially accepted it but then gradually he started detesting her for this and it got reflected in his attitude and behaviour. Finally, things got so worse that they parted. The girl repents for having disclosed her past to her husband and having lost a good life partner.

The fact is that many a times we fail to understand our own emotions. Here, the husband could not accept the fact that he once agreed to accept.

Pre marital sex is a personal thing, perceived differently. It all depends on individuals, some do and forget, some share about it with their spouse and some carry on.

The current generation is surely surpassing several boundaries that were intangibly imposed by older generations.

Today the youth, especially teenagers sit together discuss about their sexual experiences, show off their intellectual side, talk about protection and sound just ok with the pre marital sex but the question is that do they really support such views or just pretend.

In fact several researches and studies have proven that the surge to fit within the society has compelled many teenagers and even adults to go for things(including pre marital sex) which they might not have done otherwise( and hence regret later).

A doctor and psychologist while addressing the issue once said, “Changing mindset of today’s youth is highly destructive”. According to her, these young minds feel they know each and everything about their body, its requirements and also the consequences. The ones who do not match their attitude are narrow-minded”.

This kind of an environment is destructive where you compel yourself to do something that you don’t actually favour. Some individuals out of peer pressure and to fit in to their social circle opt of pre-marital sex. Such situations only lead to further complications in life.

Several authors have written interesting pieces on complexities of human relations, sex and finding love beyond the realms of social norms. One such interesting piece is A Passionate Gospel of True Love: Poonam Uppal’s True Love-A Mystical True Love story on Flipkart. It is a beautifully written story of holistic love and about truth of relationships.

Finally, I would like to conclude by saying what I said earlier, any practice or institution is valuable only if creates more negatives than positives. However if it fails on this parameter then it is a burden or liability that must be discarded. In case of pre marital sex there might be some genuine cases and few successful too but it definitely has more detrimental effects.

No matter what I feel or say, the fact is that the society today has a more modern perspective at things, a more modern and rational approach. People will continue to live the way they want but my stand is clear..do it right, live it right.